By Allen Van Hoosier
Send me your comments, good or bad. I can take it.
Being a cynic, an observer, and - when it comes down to it, an asshole, I like to make opinions on just about everything, and the election made me think about a few things regarding all the people I stood in line with।
Email Brad Ellsworth
Fortunately I live in a small town. Normal Rockwell would get a chubby just thinking about having a chance to paint any scene from the front yards of any of the houses in hood. Because of this, there was only a 30 minutes wait to vote.
And i'll be damned if can't ever get those 30 minutes back. Ever. But walk with me if you will, down my journey of discovery on election day.
Email Brad Ellsworth
I arrive at my polling place around 8:30 a.m.. I get in line behind a young woman who – I am guessing, was no older than 19-20. She was a college student. I assume as such – not because there was a gleaming bastion of intellectual maxims spewing forth from mouth. That would have been impossible at the time because her pink flowered Apple I-phone was glued to her mouth during the entire representational democracy Bataan Death March. I made this deduction from the green book bag from USI with three large Greek letters embroidered on it. Now – this can only mean one of two things: she is a member of a sorority (code for drop out alcoholic with an STD by her third semester) or she was a math major and she really dug the Greek symbols used to represent large integers in advanced mathematics. Judging by the fragmentary language, the overt use of split infinitives, I went with the former, and not the latter. Everything this blithering idiot lashed from her lips was predicated with “Like.”
An example: “Like Juile said that she so much gonna ditch his class, and I’m like – go for it – you don’t need chemistry for like, nothing!”
I wanted to interrupt her moron mind-meld with her phone to compliment her on her use of similies, but to do so would mean an engagement with this troglodyte.
But that is mere prologue to a greater point being made here. Time for a little fun. Let’s put our hat on and play the game, “Are you smarter than an immigrant?”
Here's a little quiz for all of youLet’s see how much of these you get correct!: Just for fun – I am going to answer them with the responses from a Sociologist’s blog from UC Berkley, comprised from about 300 samples. From College students. Female College Students. White Female College Students.
1. What are the colors of our flag? RED WHITE AND BLUE
2. How many stars are there in our flag? 50
3. What color are the stars on our flag? WHITE
4. What do the stars on the flag mean? STATES
5. How many stripes are there in the flag? DON’T KNOW
6. What color are the stripes? RED AND WHITE
7. What do the stripes on the flag mean? DON’T KNKOW
8. How many states are there in the Union? THE UNION? UH, 34?
9. What is the 4th of July celebrate? A HOLIDAY?
10. What is the date of Independence Day? JULY 4
11. Independence from whom? FRANCE?
12. What country did we fight during the Revolutionary War? FRANCE?
13. Who was the first President of the United States? WASHINGTON
14. Who is the President of the United States today? NOT SURE
15. Who is the vice-president of the United States today? NOTE SURE
16. Who elects the President of the United States? WE DO?
17. Who becomes President of the United States if the President should die? VICE PRESIDENT
18. For how long do we elect the President? 4 YEARS
19. What is the Constitution? THE LAWS OF AMERICA?
20. Can the Constitution be changed? NO?
21. What do we call a change to the Constitution? A BILL?
22. How many changes or amendments are there to the Constitution? 10?
23. How many branches are there in our government? 50?
24. What are the branches of our government? NOT SURE
25. What is the legislative branch of our government? THEY MAKE THE LAWS
26. Who makes the laws in the United States? THE PRESDENT
27. What is the Congress? WHERE THE PRESDENT WORKS
28. What are the duties of Congress? MAKE LAWS
29. Who elects the Congress? CONGRESSMEN?
30. How many senators are there in Congress? 50?
31. Can you name the two senators from your state? NO
32. For how long do we elect each senator? 2 YEARS?
33. How many representatives are there in Congress? 50
34. For how long do we elect the representatives? 4 YEARS
35. What is the executive branch of our government? DON’T KNOW
36. What is the judiciary branch of our government? JUDGES?
37. What are the duties of the Supreme Court? MAKE LAWS
38. What is the supreme court law of the United States? A COURT
39. What is the Bill of Rights? FREE SPEECH?
40. What is the capital of your state? INDIANAPOLIS
41. Who is the current governor of your state? DON’T KNOW
42. Who becomes President of the United States if the President and the vice-president should die? DON’T KNOW
43. Who is the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court? DON’T KNOW
44. Can you name thirteen original states? The average number here is 5
45. Who said, "Give me liberty or give me death."? GEORGE WASHINGTON
46. Which countries were our enemies during World War II? RUSSIA GERMANY
47. What are the 49th and 50th states of the Union? HAWAII AND OREGON?
48. How many terms can the President serve? 2
49. Who was Martin Luther King, Jr.? A BLACK SPEAKER
50. Who is the head of your local government? DON’T KNOW
51. According to the Constitution, a person must meet certain requirements in order to be eligible to become President. Name one of these requirements. BORN IN THE US?
52. Why are there 100 Senators in the Senate? DON’T KNOW
53. Who selects the Supreme Court justice? THE PRESIDENT?
54. How many Supreme Court justice are there? DON’T KNOW
55. Why did the Pilgrims come to America? THEY HATED FRANCE
56. What is the head executive of a state government called? A GOVERNOR
57. What is the head executive of a city government called? MAYOR
58. What holiday was celebrated for the first time by the Americans colonists? THANKSGIVING
59. Who was the main writer of the Declaration of Independence? JEFFERSON
60. When was the Declaration of Independence adopted? NOT SURE
61. What is the basic belief of the Declaration of Independence? FREEDOM OF SPEECH?
62. What is the national anthem of the United States? STAR SPANGLED BANNER
63. Who wrote the Star-Spangled Banner? DON’T KNOW
64. Where does freedom of speech come from? ENGLAND?
65. What is a minimum voting age in the United States? 18
66. Who signs bills into law? A JUDGE
67. What is the highest court in the United States? SUPREME COURT
68. Who was the President during the Civil War? LINCOLN
69. What did the Emancipation Declaration do? FREE THE SLAVES?
70. What special group advises the President? THE VICE
71. Which President is called the "Father of our country"? WASHINGTON
72. What Immigration and Naturalization Service form is used to apply to become a naturalized citizen? 10W44
73. Who helped the Pilgrims in America? INDIANS
74. What is the name of the ship that brought the Pilgrims to America? MAYFLOWER
75. What are the 13 original states of the U.S. called? NEW ENGLAND
76. Name 3 rights of freedom guaranteed by the Bill of Rights. SPEECH, VOTING, NO CENSORSHIP
77. Who has the power to declare the war? THE PRESIDENT
78. What kind of government does the United States have? DEMOCRACY
79. Which President freed the slaves? LINCOLN
80. In what year was the Constitution written? 1776
81. What are the first 10 amendments to the Constitution called? ARTICLES
82. Name one purpose of the United Nations? PREVENT WAR
83. Where does Congress meet? WASHINGTON
84. Whose rights are guaranteed by the Constitution and the Bill of Rights? RIGHT TO VOTE, PRO CHOICE
85. What is the introduction to the Constitution called? THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDANCE
86. Name one benefit of being citizen of the United States. FREEDOM OF SPEECH
87. What is the most important right granted to U.S. citizens? SPEECH
88. What is the United States Capitol? WASHINGTON
89. What is the White House? THE HOUSE THE PRESDIENT LIVES IN
90. Where is the White House located? IN WASHINGTON
91. What is the name of the President's official home? WHITE HOUSE
92. Name the right guaranteed by the first amendment. SPEECH
93. Who is the Commander in Chief of the U.S. military? DICK CHENEY
94. Which President was the first Commander in Chief of the U.S. military? WASHINGTON
95. In what month do we vote for the President? NOVEMBER
96. In what month is the new President inaugurated? NOVEMBER
97. How many times may a Senator be re-elected? 2 TIMES?
98. How many times may a Congressman be re-elected? 2 TIMES?
99. What are the 2 major political parties in the U.S. today? DEMOCRAT REPUBLICAN
100. How many states are there in the United States today? 50
By now I am sure you are thinking, “Man - what a ball breaker! Why all these questions?? Are really expecting me to learn something today? I went to school and I am done. How dare you!”
The average score for this test for an American citizen – keep in mind – the median score for this test – given to 18-year-old first year freshmen is – and I am sorry to report, is …
62%
That is a failing score! How sad How disgusting! These mindless buggers – the nabobs, vermin foul vermin abundant should have their voter registration cards robbed stripped from them and burned in front of their faces on a pile of Harry Potter books – high enough to be seen by the Chinese spy satellites hovering over us right now!
Now for the anti-climax. The quiz you just took – the very quiz that most of the female white college students in their freshman year flunk, is the very same test that people wishing to become US citizens have to score an 79% or greater on just to live here and have the right to vote.
You see – to be born in a country as a despot and immigrate here – takes a lot of effort and studying if you wish to vote as a citizen of the United States. If you are born here – to have that inalienable right? Your requirement?
A frigging pulse.
And a Razor, an I-Phone, a My-Space Face-Book page, a racy porn-based Avatar,
and a head full of the blithering dipshits.
It’s sad – but the fact is this: Tim Robbins and Susan Surandon’s nanny/house keeper/gardner knows more about the factual history of the United States than Tim Robbin’s and Susan Surandon’s teenagers!
Send me your comments, good or bad. I can take it.
I don't know if I am smarter than a immigrant. But I can tell you something from personal experience. It is a fact that average people who join something are more knowledgeable than average people who are born to something. I use Jay and me as an example. I am a cradle catholic. Jay is a convert. We are both intelligant people but Jay knows more about the Catholic church and the way it runs. He chose to join so he had an interest in learning. I being born into the faith had trouble staying awake during religious classes. Heck I not even sure I could get a 50% on the catholic version of your test.
ReplyDeleteIt is the same with born and naturalized citizens. I don't condone my ignorance of my faith or the white female's ignorance of our country. But it is fact that we must live with. Or if we do not want to live with it, work on improving our education system. But don't slam this college student or any college student for exercising their right to vote in the most important election in human history. Not knowing how many stripes are on the flag has no bearing on who she wants to vote for.
I am sorry, though, that you had a phone talking person in front of you. I bet that was irritating
After an election like the one we just completed, I'm not going to complain about very many of the eligible voters. Well ... maybe if we limited the ability of Alaskans (who apparently elected a felon and a soon-to-be-felon as their senator and State Representative, respectively), but otherwise, I'm satisfied with how the nattering nabobs voted this time around....
ReplyDeleteThe inability of that young lady to understand or comprehend the immigration test merely shows that she is qualified for the Vice Presidential slot on the GOP ticket.
ReplyDeleteFortunately, notwithstanding their inability to answer simple questions about America, most of those uninformed young people had the ability to discern the fact that there are real problems in this country and that only one candidate had any ideas about how to make the changes necessary to address them. Obama carried over 60% of the "under 30" vote, so I'm gonna give them a little credit in this election - but no extra credit in American History 101.
This group also elected our soon to be President!!!!!
ReplyDelete